After laughing hysterically and falling out of my chair, I informed
her that she would see me working on a pig farm when pigs grew wings.
She kept after me for about three months until finally I gave in. She
got me with the bit about having to go into the hospital for surgery and
how she was going to need help. Take a bit of advice guys. Watch out
for that one. I found myself shoveling pig shit for six months by hand.
The only good thing that came out of that was I met my third and present
wife, and had the clearest sinuses I've had in thirty-eight years
I met my third wife Valerie and her children, when I went to find
a part time job at the local radio station in Brookneal, Virginia. This
one was more or less a whirlwind courtship. Neither of us was really
interested in getting married, and found ourselves living together more
for economy than anything else. Valerie had conned me into starting to
go to church with her and after several months it came time for what the
Baptist church referred to as revival. Somehow or other Valerie and I
were volunteered to invite the visiting minister and his wife and our
minister and his wife for dinner. Some how or other we found ourselves
walking down the aisle the morning of the dinner. I still think that
I was had, but in the end it was the best thing that happened to me.
During the past three years Valerie has been supportive of my work and
has stood by me all the way. That doesn't mean there haven't been a few
interesting moments, but all in all it hasn't been bad at all.
Shortly after our marriage I went to work at a radio station in
Lynchburg called WLVA, which had the distinction of being one of the
oldest radio stations in the country. Having once again told my mother
that I was not a farmer and my nose couldn't take anymore, I went to
work for WLVA and was able to win several awards for my production work
and my nightly radio talk show. I might add that one of my favorite
things to do was to take pot shots at Gerry Falwell, who may be greatly
loved by the masses outside of Virginia, but who in reality gave the
term hemorrhoid a new meaning, and is not thought to highly of in
It was during my tenure at WLVA I began to receive rather cryptic
messages from my father in the mail telling me that some "Asshole" (not
my words) was pestering the shit out him and his secretaries, and that
I had "damned well better do something about it!"